More shlichus stories

⁠⁠[15:33, 8/17/2017] Rabbi Lipszyc Weekly Story: ⁠⁠⁠Rabbi Lipszyc's Story of the Week Sponsorship available. B”H during our first year of shlichus in Michigan, we met and became friends with quite a few people. One family was the Klein family, John a"h and Marilyn a”h and their three children Jeffrey, Lezlie and Shelly. They were brought close to Lubavitch through the efforts of Rabbi Moshe a”h and his wife yblcht”a Kaila Polter. Just before Purim, Marilyn approached me with a request. She had a cousin, a bright boy who went through the Conservative synagogue and Sunday School system, but was unimpressed. He eventually married a non-Jewish girl and had a baby boy. They moved to Israel, and of all places, lived on a non-religious kibbutz that raised pigs. The wife was given the job of cook for the children of the kibbutz. Marilyn continued that they had just moved back to Detroit, and she would like me to try to help him return to his Jewish roots. I told her to bring them to the Chabad shul on Purim night for the reading the megilla, and there introduce us to her cousin, his wife and their child. She did so, and we hit it off with them immediately. We invited them to our Purim seudah (festive meal) the next evening. During the meal, both the young man and his wife had many questions about Judaism and we spoke at length through much of the night. I invited them to come to learn with me. They agreed and thus started a private learning class three nights a week that would stretch into the wee hours of the morning. They would also spend every Shabbos with us. I asked them where they would be spending Pesach, and they answered that they were planning to be by his parents, who though themselves not Torah observant, were traditional, for the first seder, but could join us for the second.  However they never showed up, and we were worried about them. On the night after the first two days of Pesach, they called and asked if they could come over. When they got to our house, they explained that while they had planned to Spend the sedarim with his parents and with us, while waiting to go, they were learning the laws of yom tov from the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, and realized that on yom tov one is not permitted to drive, just like on Shabbos. They figured it made no sense to go to a seder if you’re going to break the holiday laws while doing so. So they stayed home for the two days, and having also learned that the use of a telephone on yom tov is prohibited, they wouldn’t call his parents to inform them of the change in plans. However, since they had planned to be by his parents for yom tov, they hadn’t bought kosher for Pesach food. Not knowing what to do, and knowing they couldn’t call anyone, they just drank water and ate tuna for the two days. Realizing that they pretty much had been fasting for two days, we gave them something to eat and gave them kosher for Pesach food for the intermediate days, with the understanding that they would spend the last two days with us. During the last days, they told us that after serious thought, they had come to the conclusion that she wanted to convert to Judaism. I explained that I would be willing to prepare her for conversion, but I would not be part of the Rabbinic Bais Din that would do the actual conversion. My reasoning (which guided me throughout the years) was that I believe that in order to be a proper teacher, I need to empathize with them, which would make me not impartial and might influence me to think that she would be ready for conversion before she actually would be.  After Pesach, I sent them to the Council of Orthodox Rabbis of Detroit to apply for conversion. If she would be accepted as a candidate for conversion I would learn with her and prepare her for the actual conversion under their jurisdiction. After interviewing both husband and wife, they accepted her as a potential convert and gave her a list of what she had to read and study. One of the topics was of course to understand the Jewish belief in the Unity of G-d. Although the Vaad Harabanim had their own recommendations for which texts to learn, they agreed that I could use Shaar Hayichud V'ha-emuna, written by Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi. I taught them that as well as the basic Code of Jewish Law, and the laws of Shabbos. My wife taught them all about keeping kosher, which was her area of expertise. And the laws of family purity, I taught him and my wife taught her. Those laws begin with the laws of who a Jew may marry and who a kohein is not allowed to marry, a list which includes a convert. When my wife taught this to the young woman learning for conversion, she asked, “where does that put me? My husband is a kohein!” So they asked me. Knowing that this was not good, I told her I would have to ask the Rabbis on the council. When I called one of the rabbis with this bit of news, he responded, “oy, we should have realized!” Her husband was from a well-known family in the community. His father was one of three brothers. He was a member of both a Conservative synagogue and traditional one. One brother was aligned with the Reform temple. But the other brother was a respected member of the Orthodox community, who was well known as a kohein. Being well established as a kohein, there could be no leniency found to allow him to be married to a convert. The rabbis left it to me to be the bearer of the news. They would need to get a civil divorce and understand that they could never marry if she wanted to continue with her conversion. I got husband and wife together and explained the situation. They asked what the options were, and I explained, “It seems that you have two options, for you two to divorce and each go your separate ways, or for you to walk out the door, forget what you have been learning this past month and go on living as you have in the past. I continued, “I don’t want you to make an on-the-spot emotional decision. Go home and take at least two weeks to think this through logically, and then make your decision.” They left and both my wife and I thought that would be the last we saw of them.  Several weeks later they returned and in a very emotional meeting (all of us were crying) they told us, “If you had told us this when we first met, we would have turned around, walked out and continued living as before. But now that we have learned Torah, and seen that this is G-d’s own truth, we have no choice but to live the way G-d has decreed.” They then asked me, what their next step would be. I told them to go back to the council of rabbis and tell them of their decision. When they did that, one of the senior rabbis handling their case, called me and asked in sheer wonder, "are they normal?"  I was so angry at his insinuation, and I shot back at him “Rabbi ___, there are some people who do really believe in G-d and his Torah,” intimating that he obviously was somewhat lacking in his beliefs. The next step, was that I arranged with a lawyer in our Lubavitcher community, himself a baal teshuva, to immediately arrange an uncontested divorce between them. The young man moved into our house, (sleeping on the couch,) and he left their house and car to her and their 2½ year old son. My wife and I continued learning with each of them separately. We continued preparing her for conversion, while just teaching him how to reconnect with his Jewish roots. Just before Shavuous, the holiday celebrating the receiving of the Torah, one of the most respected of the rabbis on the Council called and asked how our learning was coming along with her, and to my response of “very well,” he said, “fine, right after Shavuos we will convert her.” I was completely shocked. I never heard of an orthodox conversion taking place in such a short time. From the time I met them (on Purim) until Shavuos was less than 3 months. From the time the rabbis met her for the first time, it was a mere 6 weeks! I said, “but I haven’t had a chance to finish learning with her yet!” To which he responded, “This unheard of self-sacrifice, which she has shown for Judaism entitles her to be Jewish. She can learn what she needs to know, as a full-fledged Jewess.” Of course, since these were well learned and respected rabbis I was quite pleased and was very proud of her accomplishment. After Shavuos, the rabbis did indeed halachically convert her. (When I afterwards shared this whole story with Rabbi Zalman Shimon Dworkin – the Morah D’Asra of Chabad world-wide – he exclaimed that such self-sacrifice of a woman to convert he had never heard of, at any time in history. He put her on a higher level than Rus!)   After the conversion had taken place, they both approached me with the following question: “Our lives have been turned totally upside-down, what are we each supposed to do now?” Since this was within my first year of shlichus, and looking at having been the cause of such a crisis in these two young people’s lives, I really wanted to give them the right advice and answer to their valid question. I told him, “You are still young, a 23 year old single guy, with no family obligations. I would recommend that you take the next two years to attend a yeshiva so that you get a good Jewish education before you get married. There are two such yeshivas that catered to those with limited Torah background, Hadar Hatorah in Crown Heights, New York and Tiferes Bachurim in Morristown, New Jersey. If you agree, I will set it up.” To her I said, “We are now entering summer, there is a girl’s summer program in Minnesota called Bais Chana. Let me see if I can set you and your son up, that you should attend their classes for Jewesses with a limited Jewish background.” I then added a note of caution, “I think whatever you both decide, it would be wise that you reside in different cities so as not to fall into temptation of wanting to reunite.” Suddenly I jerked myself upright and said, “What am I thinking? Why should I give you advice, we have a Rebbe whom you should ask. I have an idea. In a few weeks is the 12th & 13th of Tammuz when we celebrate the release of the Previous Rebbe from Stalinist prison. Come with me to New York for the farbrengen. The next night, on the eve of the 14th of Tammuz the Rebbe has private audiences with individual chassidim. Since my birthday is the 14th of Tammuz, I also get to go in. I believe that the self-sacrifice that you both showed entitles you each to have a private audience with the Rebbe as well. Let me see if I can set it up so that he can personally guide you on what direction to follow. They agreed, and I called Rabbi Laibel Groner, the Rebbe’s gabbai, who was the one who arranged the private audiences. I told him this amazing story and explained that I believe that they earned the right to each get a separate audience and get direction in their life from the Rebbe. He made no promises, but said he would see what he could do. B”H, Rabbi Groner was able to get both of them into yechidus (the private audience.)  The order of the private audiences was: first the young man went; after him the young woman went; and after her I went in. As is customary, each one would prepare in writing what they wanted to say and to ask the Rebbe and when they went in would hand their request to the Rebbe. The young man, wrote a short introduction of his background (including his halachically required breakup from his wife) and asked if he should go to yeshiva, and if so, which yeshiva? The Rebbe responded that he indeed should go to yeshiva Hadar Hatorah in Crown Heights, and gave him his blessings for success in his learning and his journey to connect with his roots. When he came out of the Rebbe’s room, he told both myself and his ex what the Rebbe said.  The young woman too had prepared her written introduction of her background (including the breakup, and that she is now a single mother) and asked the Rebbe about going to study for the summer at Bais Chana in Minnesota. The Rebbe told her that no, she should stay in Crown Heights “because her zivug (her soul-mate) is waiting for her.” She asked the Rebbe, “but the Rebbe just told my ex that he should learn in Crown Heights, and Rabbi Lipszyc advised us that we shouldn’t reside in the same city? The Rebbe gave her a deep look and said, “ok, you can go to Bais Chana for the summer program, but come right back because your zivug is waiting for you.” When she came out of the Rebbe’s room and told us what happened, I was horrified. I explained to her that when the Rebbe said to stay in Crown Heights it nullified any advice that I had given. I was so embarrassed that I really didn’t want to go into yechidus. I pictured the Rebbe saying to me in scorn, “ha, Rabbi Lipszyc said!” Of course, I had no choice, the Rebbe knew I was on the list for yechidus, so I went in with shame. I handed the Rebbe my request – which included blessings for my birthday and success in my shlichus, but I just hung my head in shame and wishing the floor would just open up and swallow me up. I did not hear one word that the Rebbe said to me in that yechidus!  This exceptional young man joined Hadar Hatorah, then learned in Israel for a year, and finished his studies in Morristown. His ex, this amazing righteous convert, came back from Minnesota and was introduced to her future husband. Unfortunately, both of these special people did not have easy lives. This special convert had eight children, but her spouse got sick and died and she had to raise her children on her own. However, she did a great job and she has much nachas from all her children. As far as her ex, he too got married, had eight children as well, but his wife died while giving birth to their eighth child. He too was left to raise his eight children. However, he too has nothing but nachas from his children. Many years later, at different times, I had one of her sons working for me, as a teacher, in Crimea, as well as one of his daughters working for me, also as a teacher, in Crimea.  Another of her daughters came with her husband to help us on a Pesach. I consider these two very special souls as my “ticket of entry into heaven.” To receive Rabbi Lipszyc's Story of the week via Whatsapp add the number 513-456-7595 to your phone contacts, and then send a text to with the message "Join".  Support Rabbi Lipszyc's work by Donating at https://chabadcrimeaorg.clhosting.org/templates/articlecco_cdo/aid/2511910/jewish/Crisis-Relief/lang/en or sending checks to: Chabad of Crimea World Friends, 1601 Union St, Brooklyn, NY 11213